Funny Stuff

Well, maybe not that psychic. (This gem can be found at 134 W 46th St, New York City)

Elementary school project takes a left turn

A class of elementary students started a class project to make a planter to take home and wanted to have a plant in it that was easy to take care of, so it was decided to use cactus plants. The students were given greenware pottery of a clown planter and they painted them with glaze and had them professionally fired at a class outing so they could see the process. It was great fun.

They planted the cactus seeds in the finished planters and they grew nicely but unfortunately the children were not allowed to take them home. See picture to understand why.

The cactus plants were removed and a small ivy replaced them and the children were then allowed to take them home.

The teacher said cactus seemed like a good idea at the time...

Epilogue

Brand recognition and product identity

• Coors put its slogan, "Turn it loose," into Spanish, where it was read as "Suffer from diarrhea".
• Clairol introduced the "Mist Stick", a curling iron, into German only to find out that "mist" is slang for manure. Not too many people had use for the "manure stick".
• Scandinavian vacuum manufacturer Electrolux used the following in an American campaign: "Nothing sucks like an Electrolux".
• In Chinese, the Kentucky Fried Chicken slogan "finger-lickin' good" came out as "eat your fingers off".
• The American slogan for Salem cigarettes, "Salem -- Feeling Free", was translated into the Japanese market as "When smoking Salem, you will feel so refreshed that your mind seems to be free and empty".
• When Gerber started selling baby food in Africa, they used the same packaging as in the US, with the beautiful Caucasian baby on the label. Later they learned that in Africa, companies routinely put pictures on the label of what's inside, since most people can't read.
• Colgate introduced a toothpaste in France called Cue, the name of a notorious porno magazine.
• An American T-shirt maker in Miami printed shirts for the Spanish market which promoted the Pope's visit. Instead of "I saw the Pope" (el Papa), the shirts read "I saw the potato" (la papa).
• In Italy, a campaign for Schweppes Tonic Water translated the name into "Schweppes Toilet Water".
• Pepsi's "Come alive with the Pepsi Generation" translated into "Pepsi brings your ancestors back from the grave", in Chinese.
• We all know about GM's Chevy Nova meaning "it won't go" in Spanish markets, but did you know that Ford had a similar problem in Brazil with the Pinto? Pinto was Brazilian slang for "tiny male genitals". Ford renamed the automobile Corcel, meaning "horse".
• Hunt-Wesson introduced Big John products in French Canada as Gros Jos. Later they found out that in slang it means "big breasts".
• Frank Perdue's chicken slogan, "it takes a strong man to make a tender chicken" was translated into Spanish as "it takes an aroused man to make a chicken affectionate".
• When Parker Pen marketed a ball-point pen in Mexico, its ads were supposed to have read, "it won't leak in your pocket and embarrass you". Instead, the company thought that the word "embarazar" (to impregnate) meant to embarrass, so the ad read: "It won't leak in your pocket and make you pregnant".
• The Coca-Cola name in China was first read as"Ke-kou-ke-la", meaning "Bite the wax tadpole" or "female horse stuffed with wax", depending on the dialect. Coke then researched 40,000 characters to find a phonetic equivalent "ko-ou-ko-le", translating into "happiness in the mouth".
• A few years ago, in the American Midwest, some people decided to show off their new "real" Mexican restaurant, named Chi-chi's, to some visiting Californians. Upon seeing the name on the marquis, the Californians started to laugh. When asked why they were laughing, they explained that in Mexican Spanish,"chi-chi's" literally means "titties."

One-liners from the Internet

Failure is not an option...it is bundled with the software.

Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all its students.

A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.

Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear.

Give me ambiguity or give me something else.

Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.

Very funny Scotty, now beam down my clothes.

Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy.

There are three kinds of people: those who can count and those who can't.

Officer! Officer! Arrest that man! He's whistling a dirty song!

Why is 'abbreviation' such a long word?

Why are the staff in restaurants called "waiters," when it's the customers that do all the waiting?

Why are they called "apartments," when they're all squashed together?

Why do you drive on a parkway, and park on a driveway?

French man: I don't want to talk to you, no more, you empty-headed animal food trough wiper. I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelled of elderberries.
Galahad: Is there someone else up there we could talk to?
French man: No. Now go away or I shall taunt you a second time.
Monty Python's Holy Grail